hmm... It's been quite a while since I've written in here. I haven't felt the urge to.
Things have still been great since whenever I wrote last. Jay visited again, it wasn't so great the second time around. I was a huge douchebag the entire weekend. It made me realize how much I value my space and time alone. It was so bad at one point that I lied and said I needed to poop and I took my laptop into my bathroom and just sat in there for 10 minutes online. I just wanted to be left alone. And one of the nights I pretended to be really tired so that we'd relax because I knew he'd fall asleep, so that I could go online and bullshit like I usually do. I hate entertaining friends so much. It's not bad if it's for a night or something... but for a weekend!? I find it very difficult to go an entire weekend with someone by my side. And it's even worse that he's from out of town so he doesn't really know anyone other than my friends. But, it's whatever. I felt bad that I was so crappy but can't change that now.
I've spent a lot of time with Luke lately, which has been really nice for a change. It's good having someone around again that I can have legit convos with that aren't about "so and so did this, so and so said this" kind of stuff. We don't have mutual friends so there's no friend drama or anything like that. Though, my sleeping patterns have been severly fucked for the last three weeks because of the amount of time Luke and I spent talking/hanging. I'm up til 6am the earliest every night and the other night, I fell asleep around 10:20am and had to be up at 10:45 for class.
It's been rough, the lack of sleep, but it's the best thing that's happened in months. After everything that happened back in November it's been tough to escape that situation, especially because the people that are closest to me know about it so they constantly ask about it. I'm finally now to the point where I feel okay with what happened, finally. I've kind of worked it out in my head and have come to terms with it. I feel good.
Classes have been out of this world amazing. It's crazy how much someone can change their attitude about something in such a short period of time. Even the class that is boring as hell and so easy, psych stats, has become something that I take pride in because it is so easy to me and I know it's not for everyone. I'm really shooting for a 3.5 or higher this semester. The only class I see as a true challenge is my phl 442 class because the professor is extremely strict on writing and the class is based off of discussion and papers. She said the first week that she's going to try to treat the class like her grad classes because it is a 400 level class and she figures anyone in the class will eventually go onto grad school. Which, was exciting to me because I knew it'd be a challenge but at the same time, it is going to be a CHALLENEGE. I'm ready for it though.
I leave in three weeks today for London. Literally, three weeks. I am so stoke on that. It is going to be such a freakin' great time. I'm leaving my cell phone turned off the entire time. It's going to be amazing to just get AWAY for a while. We're doing so many awesome things and I'm going on my own to do some AWESOME things. I cannot wait to go. We have to keep a journal while we over there so I will probably post that.
So, it's valentines day today. Luke and I were up real late last night, of course, and I slept til late afternoon today. I've just been hanging with Ninja all day. I got a package today from Jason. He send me a teddy the size of me and some chocolate and sour gummy worms. So good. Last night after Luke and I got back here, we were sitting in my living room and he randomly gets up and grabs paper and a pen from my room and won't show me what he's doing and a bit later, he comes out, makes me close my eyes and stick out my hand and he puts a card in my hand. It was crazy cute. It was the best home made card I've ever gotten, that's for sure. I hung it on my wall.
Luke's definitely a one of a kind dude, in more than one way. I'm fortunate to have met him. He's one of those people you meet that even if you want to, you will never ever forget. I hope he gets out of this shit hole town soon.
I need to head off. I have some work I should do and I need to get a start on my papers. My paper for London is going to be difficult. I convinced my professor to allow me to write about London football clubs and the subculture of that scene. He wasn't too sure how he felt about it because he wasn't sure how many legit sources I'd find, but I convinced him to let me work on it for a week and show him what I've found and if it's up to his standards, I could write about it and if not, I'd change my topic. I need to find some kick ass books and articles before Wednesday.
And I'm off...
Things have still been great since whenever I wrote last. Jay visited again, it wasn't so great the second time around. I was a huge douchebag the entire weekend. It made me realize how much I value my space and time alone. It was so bad at one point that I lied and said I needed to poop and I took my laptop into my bathroom and just sat in there for 10 minutes online. I just wanted to be left alone. And one of the nights I pretended to be really tired so that we'd relax because I knew he'd fall asleep, so that I could go online and bullshit like I usually do. I hate entertaining friends so much. It's not bad if it's for a night or something... but for a weekend!? I find it very difficult to go an entire weekend with someone by my side. And it's even worse that he's from out of town so he doesn't really know anyone other than my friends. But, it's whatever. I felt bad that I was so crappy but can't change that now.
I've spent a lot of time with Luke lately, which has been really nice for a change. It's good having someone around again that I can have legit convos with that aren't about "so and so did this, so and so said this" kind of stuff. We don't have mutual friends so there's no friend drama or anything like that. Though, my sleeping patterns have been severly fucked for the last three weeks because of the amount of time Luke and I spent talking/hanging. I'm up til 6am the earliest every night and the other night, I fell asleep around 10:20am and had to be up at 10:45 for class.
It's been rough, the lack of sleep, but it's the best thing that's happened in months. After everything that happened back in November it's been tough to escape that situation, especially because the people that are closest to me know about it so they constantly ask about it. I'm finally now to the point where I feel okay with what happened, finally. I've kind of worked it out in my head and have come to terms with it. I feel good.
Classes have been out of this world amazing. It's crazy how much someone can change their attitude about something in such a short period of time. Even the class that is boring as hell and so easy, psych stats, has become something that I take pride in because it is so easy to me and I know it's not for everyone. I'm really shooting for a 3.5 or higher this semester. The only class I see as a true challenge is my phl 442 class because the professor is extremely strict on writing and the class is based off of discussion and papers. She said the first week that she's going to try to treat the class like her grad classes because it is a 400 level class and she figures anyone in the class will eventually go onto grad school. Which, was exciting to me because I knew it'd be a challenge but at the same time, it is going to be a CHALLENEGE. I'm ready for it though.
I leave in three weeks today for London. Literally, three weeks. I am so stoke on that. It is going to be such a freakin' great time. I'm leaving my cell phone turned off the entire time. It's going to be amazing to just get AWAY for a while. We're doing so many awesome things and I'm going on my own to do some AWESOME things. I cannot wait to go. We have to keep a journal while we over there so I will probably post that.
So, it's valentines day today. Luke and I were up real late last night, of course, and I slept til late afternoon today. I've just been hanging with Ninja all day. I got a package today from Jason. He send me a teddy the size of me and some chocolate and sour gummy worms. So good. Last night after Luke and I got back here, we were sitting in my living room and he randomly gets up and grabs paper and a pen from my room and won't show me what he's doing and a bit later, he comes out, makes me close my eyes and stick out my hand and he puts a card in my hand. It was crazy cute. It was the best home made card I've ever gotten, that's for sure. I hung it on my wall.
Luke's definitely a one of a kind dude, in more than one way. I'm fortunate to have met him. He's one of those people you meet that even if you want to, you will never ever forget. I hope he gets out of this shit hole town soon.
I need to head off. I have some work I should do and I need to get a start on my papers. My paper for London is going to be difficult. I convinced my professor to allow me to write about London football clubs and the subculture of that scene. He wasn't too sure how he felt about it because he wasn't sure how many legit sources I'd find, but I convinced him to let me work on it for a week and show him what I've found and if it's up to his standards, I could write about it and if not, I'd change my topic. I need to find some kick ass books and articles before Wednesday.
And I'm off...
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